A while ago, Lavida partied Sex and the City style. Four Independent Women, taking control of our lives.
The girls and I filled our flutes and champagne glasses with bubbly and screwdrivers. We had so much that we were ready to Screw Drivers. Chaffeurs, Pilots, Captains. Any driver.
Then we went to the photobooth on an Imac.
How crazy punch drunk sexy were we?
We ended up waiting for an HOUR to get into Love Machine. yeah that's how packed it was that night. I honestly almost pissed myself waiting for the penishead bouncers to let us in.
How can they deny, four sexy ladies, living in Melbourne city, taking control of their lives. To almost lose bladder control?
When we finally got in. I met my black mister sister. Mercedez.
Take note wallabies, Lady Lavida was drunk to the max at this moment. (I have no idea when I got the habit of referring to myself in the third person)
Anyway, That picture up there. I have no memory taking it. Its like twilight zone meets the pretender. I might have a Doppelganger! (look up the dictionary if you don't know what this means, bitches. Dumber than a drag queen are you?)
Anyway, the rest of the 2 hours was a blur. The next thing I remember was coming out of the toilet with two girls on each of my arm, supporting my walk. Then a bouncer tells me he needs to talk to me and to follow him downstairs.
Apparently, my faithful drag hags followed me downstairs. The bouncers then proceed to SHOVE US OUT THE CLUB!
WTF? I was so angry! I didn't even do anything wrong! I was like
"Excuse me, Why did you kick us out? we didn't do anything wrong. We're not even that drunk!"
Bloody bastard bouncer: "
Its nothing personal ok, we're just doing our job"
I was like "
What do you mean? You'd better just let us back in alright."
He then pointed faraway and said
"Just get going. Just leave you're no allowed to stay here."
at this point, Lavida got PISSED: "
What the hell! You can't do this ok! I know your owner! I'm going to Get You FIRED!"
He goes :
" Go ahead, I'm not scared of you."
I then turned to my drag hags and said "
Take your camera out! I want to take a photo of this ass!"
I turn back
"I'm going to get you FIRED! Urrgh!!"
"just go ahead"
"You know what, I don't even care about going in anymore!"
I then proceeded to lift my skirts and flashed my butt-in-pantyhose at him, going
"~Nyeh-nyeh-Nyeh-nyeh-nyeh~~"
Shaking my lovely lady hump at him.
Then we all got in the taxi and went home.
The thing is, Everything from the toilet onwards was a retelling by my draghag. I had no memory whatsoever of the rest.
Lavida is such a feisty bitch! you love it!
Posts
