Turn Off the Music here \/

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Breaking Down Love Machine

A while ago, Lavida partied Sex and the City style. Four Independent Women, taking control of our lives.

The girls and I filled our flutes and champagne glasses with bubbly and screwdrivers. We had so much that we were ready to Screw Drivers. Chaffeurs, Pilots, Captains. Any driver.

Then we went to the photobooth on an Imac.

How crazy punch drunk sexy were we?

We ended up waiting for an HOUR to get into Love Machine. yeah that's how packed it was that night. I honestly almost pissed myself waiting for the penishead bouncers to let us in.

How can they deny, four sexy ladies, living in Melbourne city, taking control of their lives. To almost lose bladder control?

When we finally got in. I met my black mister sister. Mercedez.

Take note wallabies, Lady Lavida was drunk to the max at this moment. (I have no idea when I got the habit of referring to myself in the third person)

Anyway, That picture up there. I have no memory taking it. Its like twilight zone meets the pretender. I might have a Doppelganger! (look up the dictionary if you don't know what this means, bitches. Dumber than a drag queen are you?)

 Anyway, the rest of the 2 hours was a blur. The next thing I remember was coming out of the toilet with two girls on each of my arm, supporting my walk. Then a bouncer tells me he needs to talk to me and to follow him downstairs.

Apparently, my faithful drag hags followed me downstairs. The bouncers then proceed to SHOVE US OUT THE CLUB!

WTF? I was so angry! I didn't even do anything wrong! I was like
"Excuse me, Why did you kick us out? we didn't do anything wrong. We're not even that drunk!"

Bloody bastard bouncer: " Its nothing personal ok, we're just doing our job"

I was like "What do you mean? You'd better just let us back in alright."

He then pointed faraway and said "Just get going. Just leave you're no allowed to stay here."

at this point, Lavida got PISSED: " What the hell! You can't do this ok! I know your owner! I'm going to Get You FIRED!"

He goes :" Go ahead, I'm not scared of you."

I then turned to my drag hags and said "Take your camera out! I want to take a photo of this ass!"
I turn back
"I'm going to get you FIRED! Urrgh!!"

"just go ahead"

"You know what, I don't even care about going in anymore!"

I then proceeded to lift my skirts and flashed my butt-in-pantyhose at him, going

Shaking my lovely lady hump at him.

Then we all got in the taxi and went home.

The thing is, Everything from the toilet onwards was a retelling by my draghag. I had no memory whatsoever of the rest.

Lavida is such a feisty bitch! you love it!

Monday, September 28, 2009

Drag Toilet Photoshoot

After filming, I met up with my Drag hag -Pinktoe and her friend for lunch.

In the famous words of Little Britain: "Just a lady having a cup of tea" and 4$ Pizzas
I'd prefer to keep this secret alley bar, a secret just that little bit longer. None of you beeyotches better be crowding up in my space!

Anyway. We went to the toilet , and found this strange light. It was...

My Goddess Aura!

LoL, kidding, it was the backlighting of the toilet.
Having recently watched ANTM cycle 12, I was overcomed by a modelling fit! I kicked up my platforms and climbed on the toilet bowl.

With my super SMEYES power, 'Smile with your Eyes', I can turn out a fierce photo!

I know Lady Lavida is in the Voluptuous category. Just wait till I take up anorexia!

Then I'll give you skinny bitches with the failed faces a run for your money.

Would you dare take a picture on top of the toilet bowl if you think it could be fashion edgy?
I encourage all girls out there to do so!

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Chasing Harry Winston

As y'all know, Lavida is also an Actress, Just completed my first scene for the trailer of Chasing Harry Winston.

For those of you guys who are clueless, Chasing Harry Winston is written by the same Author who wrote The Devil Wears Prada.

Now I'm getting some oohs and Ahhs, I can practically hear it through the web darlings.

Product Description
The bestselling author of The Devil Wears Prada and Everyone Worth Knowing returns with the story of three best friends who vow to change their entire lives...and change them fast.

Emmy is newly single, and not by choice. She was this close to the ring and the baby she's wanted her whole life when her boyfriend left her for his twenty-three-year-old personal trainer -- whose fees are paid by Emmy. With her plans for the perfect white wedding in the trash, Emmy is now ordering takeout for one. Her friends insist an around-the-world sex-fueled adventure will solve all her problems -- could they be right?

Leigh, a young star in the publishing business, is within striking distance of landing her dream job as senior editor and marrying her dream guy. And to top it all off, she has just purchased her dream apartment. Only when Leigh begins to edit the enfant terrible of the literary world, the brilliant and brooding Jesse Chapman, does she start to notice some cracks in her perfect life...

Adriana is the drop-dead-gorgeous daughter of a famous supermodel. She possesses the kind of feminine wiles made only in Brazil, and she never hesitates to use them. But she's about to turn thirty and -- as her mother keeps reminding her -- she won't have her pick of the men forever. Everyone knows beauty is ephemeral and there's always someone younger and prettier right around the corner. Suddenly she's wondering...does Mother know best?

These three very different girls have been best friends for a decade in the greatest city on earth. As they near thirty, they're looking toward their future...but despite all they've earned -- first-class travel, career promotions, invites to all the right parties, and luxuries small and large -- they're not quite sure they like what they see...

One Saturday night at the Waverly Inn, Adriana and Emmy make a pact: within a single year, each will drastically change her life. Leigh watches from the sidelines, not making any promises, but she'll soon discover she has the most to lose. Their friendship is forever, but everything else is on the table. Three best friends. Two resolutions. One year to pull it off.

Guess Who Lavida plays?

Adriana!!! ahahha the drop dead gorgeous daughter of a famous Supermodel!
I will be doing one more scene next week, and we should have the trailer playing soon :)

You Love Lavida*

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

America's Next Top Model Cycle 12

Cycle 12 of America's Next Top Model has 2 girls that Lavida Loves from the beginning of the season.
Celia - the classy fashionista with the strongest sense of personal style.
such strength in her eyes.
As everyone knows, Lady Lavida is a classy drag and she can appreciate a sister with a certain air. Lavida loves her pearl earrings.
Therefore, Lavida has pierced her ears! A tribute to Celia's stylishness.

Lavida's second love is this Deer in the headlights - Allison

She's a freak of nature. Her eyes could just swallow you whole. As a drag queen, we strive to create eyes like that with tons of make up, fake eyelashes, glitter, eye brow lift and contact lens.
This bitch was born with it.
Look at her youth, vulnerability. Like a baby bird caught in her nest.

Hmm, Lavida is so inspired by ANTM. She's planning to join Cycle 13 which feature girls under 5 feet 7. Yes, Lady Lavida is a petite model.

Who's your favourite model?

Monday, September 21, 2009

Lavida Loves Jeffrey

Lavida really loves Jeffrey.
But not Jeffrey the sociopathic loser who lives down the corner of Peel and Wellington street.
I love Jeffrey the movie!

Not only is it written with such finesse. This movie is an example of one of the first that breaks the third wall. Acknowledgment of the audience and speaking directly to the camera. The critique of traditional film models
There is a truckload of really amazing celebrities. This is one film where all of them work together to make this really great film.

This gay film is about a promiscuous man who finally stops having sex because he is afraid of contracting the HIV virus. He then meets the man of his dreams who just happens to be....you get it.. HIV positive!
drama drama everywhere!

Lavida Loves it.

For the curious wallabies
Jeffrey Wiki

Sunday, September 20, 2009


 So many kinds of hard action, which to choose?
Lavida's Manicure set.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Eat the Meat

A Lady should practice the etiquette of fine dining. Chewing with your mouth closed, delicately working through your meal while keeping a demure posture throughout.

Well...I'm not a real lady. That's why Lavida charges into a fine piece of steak with the ferocity of ten wild cats. WooohoO!

Lavida loves a good piece of steak. In fact, one of my favorite places in Melbourne, is Universal Pizza's on Lygon Street. Granted it's not the ideal fine dining setting. But where else can you get a steak for only 13.90 AUSD?

mmm.. Just look at that succulent, juicy, suggestive piece of grilled perfection? I'm great friends with the chef, so he's custom made this steak for me into a phallic form.
Talk about Oral fixation.

For the higher class, fur-wearing,branded purse wielding bore-bags out there, The Point at Albert Park is a beautiful steakhouse with a smorgasbord of culinary equivalents of orgasms. Wagyu beef...YUM.


Thursday, September 17, 2009


Have a look at my previous post on my performance, You'll see that Dee Dee Dazzler is wearing this drop dead gorgeous kimono.

Lavida wants one!

Lavida found one...

Lavida can't afford one.


700 Aussie Dollars.
Lavida has to dance her panties off before she can get one.
But by then, whats the point of getting it?
I find it hard to constrain my draggery to simply be flaunted in shows.
I think it's beginning to leak everywhere! like a leaky pad! heavy flow!!!
Girls,Don't you hate it when you're shopping for an outfit for a particular event, and you end up buying SEVERAL outfits? all for the same event.
How financially unwise is that? So if there's a rich and generous fan out there.
DO NOT hesitate to buy me that Kimono. It is available next to the Lincraft store on Collins, on the top floor.
Hands off bitches< It's mine.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Performance at Asian Treasure@Chasers

This was my own event poster I made for myself. 
Loves. It.
Last Thursday was the date of my first stage performance as well as my first time dragging to CLASS!
However, let's just concentrate on the pictures that are available now.

Chasers has an absolutely beautiful interior; furnished with luxurious satins, chandeliers and wall-sized mirrors. I arrived with a large entourage of 8 girls. The club begins to warm up with attendees.
Dee Dee Dazzler and Venus Envy is already at the bar looking gorgeous and dolled up.
I get a tour of the club by the organizer of Asian Treasure nights - Andy.

Dee Dee- Hostess with the Mostess

There's a second stage through the first door which is humongous! One day Lavida shall storm that stage as well :) I head to the changing room and add my two large travel bags to the sizeable collection of drag luggage, surely filled with glitters and wigs to the brim.

My number was Hey Big Spender - Shirley Bassey. Garbed in a traditional red Cheong Sam, a laurel tiara, a black feather boa and holding a large red fan. I ruled the stage as I threw my feather boa off to accent the beat. There was a lot of sashays and shantes before I finished off with and toss of Lavida Money!

My second number was Milkshake! Wearing a rabbit fur jacket, blue glitter Charleston dress and trashbag skirt. I started off with a special edit ;P and then into the remix of I'm a slave of you + Milkshake mashup. it was hot thrusting and hip shaking for me.  Throwing off the fur jacket and then slipping off the trash skirt in the middle was my way of expressing "coming out"

The night was filled with fun, friends and poofery! what more could you ask for? Oh and there were so many asian hotties that night. Where have they all been hiding!? come out come out again!

Loves Lavida~

Monday, September 14, 2009

Justin Hartley *heart*ley

my vote for Sexiest Man Alive 2009!

Justin Hartley!!
Talk about a hotness monster. This man is also a Superhero! apparently known as the Green Arrow on Smallville....(imagines Tom Welling and Justin Hartley) yum. He is quoted as being gay-friendly too from DNA magazine :)

I can just look at his pictures all day.
Or maybe, just tie him up and watch him flex his muscles as he tries to escape from Lavida.

Try and run Justin. Try and run.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Drag Queen To The Zoo Video

Finally I've Completed my editing,and uploaded my Zoo video to YouTube here's and embedded version form my lazy wallabies.

It's got some of my best captured moments to date! Lavida is going to be bigger than Ru Paul or Dame Edna some day. Some day~~

Remember kids, i drag for educational purposes. So all this will contribute to my understanding of how the world perceives and receives drag queens and transgenders.

So please do comment on the videos. Give me your thoughts on all of this and feel free to even suggest new places to drag to!

"To Drag Where No Drags Have Ever Dragged Before!"
Lavida Loca - she gone loco.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Fashion Loves Make Up

Everyone knows how the Lady is also a Mistress of Make Up.

Creating an illusion is the core of every Drag Queens' being. And remember, I am now a Drag EMPRESS! Therefore, by definition. I can also pass on my make up magic unto others!
I am like the Pinocchio's Blue Fairy of drag. She turns wooden puppets into real boys. I turn manhood into wood.
I also turn people into real models!

Earth! Wind! Water! Fire! Glitter!
By My Powers combined, I am Campy Planet!


 bibbity babbity Poofery!
My latest creation~
I shall soon create a make up tutorial video. I know everybody does it. But this is THE drag empress. useful digestive tips from me is like a meal congested in the intestines from other video tutorials.
See how that makes you prefer me.
I'm the best.

Lavida the diva.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Dragalation: Camberwell market

Guess where Lavida lands herself this time?

The Sunday Camberwell Market. It is now called Camp-berwell.

I had a film crew following me for the most part. Paparazzis just won't leave me the hell alone! LOL.
Alright, fine, so it was more about their film project on drag queens. Still, I'm sure they partially wanted to capture my star quality on film.:)

I was there with my Drag-Hags (the new fag hags), shopping up a storm when this Crazy! old man walked right into my side and pressed himself against me whilst I was on the phone! How stalker mad is that?

He whispered in a low Nightmare-on-Elm-Street-Exorcist-Urban-Legends tone : "~~ you arrrrh a BOY!~~~"


I screamed into the night.

They caught it all on film! but you will not see the dark midnight setting from my imagination. However, you will see the Exorcist's nightmare man. I am waiting on the film.

meanwhile, Me and the gang are back to shopping around, I seriously recommend all Drag and trannies and the rest of the Falling Pants Sisterhood  to shop there. They have our sizes!

WishList alert! Lavida would loove this adjustable mannequin for alterations on drag-unfriendly outfits.

On my travels there, I also spotted another Drag Queen....
Blue Eyeshadow is soo 80's, my shaggy sister.
All in all, It was an amazing trip. Fascinators, Heels, Handbags and Perfume bottles. This lady is a very satisfied shopper.
Another daring dragging by your drag empress
Lavida Loca.

Friday, September 4, 2009


I sometimes forget that I currently live in the land of the idolized 'surferdudes'
Girls the world over dream of that hot steamy sun kissed Aussiebum that will rise from the waves and sweep her off her sandy feet. They then proceed to have sex on the beach... then they put down those cocktail glasses...and have a quick fuck!

and then put down those shot glasses too and head into the massage room where he works out those tight knots just right between the shoulder blades.

It is truly heaven.

To complete my fantasy, he then lays on top of me...and melts into chocolate. Yum.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Thai Club

Guess where Lavida crashed?

The Thai night at Toy.
It was a loud and crowded club with everyone screaming at the top of their lungs over the bass booming out of the speakers.

I was there with my Thai girls, just being one of the girls. Guess which is the drag queen?

My friend just commented that I look so sophisticated and dressy. Its not that my girls here are not beautiful, it was just the Thai culture that tips in favor of a casual attire. I am, at the end of the day, a Drag queen. I WAS in casual. lol.

The thing I love about my androgynous beauty is that I can totally fly under the radar when needed. A convincing female impersonator is always safer than a lousy one. One can avoid drag-bashing in an incredibly drunk crowd.

However, it has its down sides... three guys approached me and wanted to bring me home. then my girls told them I was a drag queen .
In thai they call it "Katuay!" Say it with me now " Kerrr- Tuay!"
And they were even more enthusiastic, forgoing the niceties given to real girls. They started to caress my arms and pinned me to the wall. I honestly thought I was going to get raped that night. I had to just scream and run away like a girl... or at least, a convincing girl ;)

Cunning Linguist! Lavida Rocks!

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Dorian Gray

I've loved Ben Barnes ever since his piercing stare met my own beautiful green eyes across the street. I was wearing a gorgeous purple dress that was backless and ethereal. His hair was in the wind, his hand gripping a silver sword and wearing a pectoral defining suit of armor. He was huge. Frozen on the billboard of Melbourne Central. The title 'Prince Caspian' gleamed in the spotlight.

It is no mistake that they would pick  him to be casted in this story. A story about a gay painter wishing to immortalize the male beauty of this handsome strapping young lad, and somehow immortalizing him in reality. The gift of immortality. All your aging and scars goes to the painting whilst your beauty remains forever.

Lavida wants it! SO all of you artistic wallabies get cracking! immortalize Mama Lavida now!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Movie Review: One Fine Day

On a movie watching marathon nowadays.

The last time I went to Movie box (my haven of rented dvds), I rented 6 rom-coms. The most outstanding for me being One Fine Day.

With Michelle Pfeiffer and George Clooney at the helm of the cast, it was a really well written story. Released on 1996, I had my doubts when looking at the cover. It just seemed soo....Ordinary.. none of the glitz and glamour a drag queen is attracted to.

They should have made Michelle Pfeiffer do that whole Stardust witch thing on the cover, with George Clooney caught between her breasts...lol. Perhaps that isn't what they were going for.

My Drag-hag convinced me to rent it though. Lo and behold, twas a beautiful family style comedy, fit to warm the hearts of many. Two Single parents whose kids are classmates at a preschool, meet on one fine ...Disastrous...day and fall in love. In one single day! How can that not be something to watch?

The IMBD link for my curious wallabies :http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0117247/

Definitely a must watch for you hopeless romantics out there.

Lavida wants to fall in love.
fairy wings ~

Proper facial contouring

Oh My Godiva. Have I been skipping my make up steps?
This is another example of what a drag queen goes through before we complete the look. It truly is an art that I am yet to master.